That's so existential!

As you look around my website, you may notice a few things. First, that each section has a theme and a specific purpose, either to inform you of my background or explain how to set up an appointment and so on. The most notable topic of my website that I hope you find is my own nods and references to existential and humanistic theory. This is the theory that is at the basis of my approach when working with clients. For this reason I feel it’s important to explore and talk about this theory so that the words that I boldly present on the home page, “Self-Awareness. Growth. Responsibility. Choice. Meaning. Authenticity.” have more context which will help create understanding as to why they are there, and what makes them important in my therapeutic approach.

Existential humanism is the combination of two theories; existentialism and humanism. Existentialism stems from the Latin word ex-sistere, which means to “become” and humanism stems from the Greek tradition of “knowing thyself” (Schneider & Krug, 2010, pg. 5). We put those together and in essence existenstial-humanistic theory can be understood as “the process of becoming and knowing oneself” (Schneider & Krug, 2010, pg. 5).

In additional, the therapeutic approach tends to focus on three main values that can often lead to a great understanding of knowing oneself; freedom and choice, experiential reflection, and responsibility and ownership of one’s self (Schneider & Krug, 2010, pg. 6). 

The idea of getting to know yourself can truly be all-encompassing when it comes to working on most topics that may come up in therapy. Whether a person is feeling anxious, dealing with interpersonal relationships, or taking action to achieve life goals, these are all topics that directly reflect the client's being. I also mention on my approach page that my work tends to be client-centered, again, reiterating this point that throughout most if not all of the obstacles that we may work through in life, our focus and effort tends to be unique to who we are and the experiences that we have had. In that sense, while my therapeutic beliefs are based on personal growth and living authentically, these will be applied differently to every person that I work with in therapy.  This is where the client-centered approach also comes into play, as we are all individual and unique and that is what makes us look at things so differently than one another. It's those differences that make a difference, both in therapy, and in life.  

With all of these theories and talk of approaches in therapy, it brings me back to an anecdotal story my professor told to us in graduate school. My professor told this story of a man in a mental health clinic who one day was laying in his bed, both yelling and screaming in his room. A person entered the room and asked the man, "What's wrong?" The man in bed replied, "I need help. There is a rope around me and I can't untie it!" The person who entered the room looked at the man laying in his bed, seeing that there was no visible rope around him and asked, "What are you talking about? There is no rope around you, it's an imagination" and then the person left the man in the room.

The man in the room continued to yell and scream that he needed help, help to get out of this rope that he was reporting to have around him. A counselor walked in the room and asked the man, "What's wrong?" and the man laying in bed tried to explain as he had before, "I need help. There is a rope around me and I can't untie it!" Unlike the person before, the counselor walked over to the man in bed and proceeded to help him until his invisible rope. 

Existential and humanistic theory. Integrating client-centered and cognitive-behavioral approaches. These are all theories with tools and styles that I use to help clients untie their invisible ropes so that they can learn to own who they are and work towards becoming and knowing themselves better. In the end, that's one of the biggest goal we can all have in our lifetime. 

Reference: 

Schneider, K.J. & Krug, O.T. (2010). Existential-Humanistic Therapy. Washington D.C.: American Psychological Association. 

Here's the stigma about stigmas...

As a therapist, I am well aware of the stereotypes and the stigma that surround therapy. Many people think they have a pretty good idea of what therapy is, who its catered for, and why someone may need it. More often than not I've heard from clients who are beginning the process that they feel people who seek therapy are "severely mentally ill", and that they themselves didn't want to ask for help (as they should be able to figure it out on their own, because asking for help can often be seen as a weakness). 

There are many elements of these preconceived notions that are important to examine; First, that therapy is only for those who are "severely mentally ill". If we think about medical doctors and the types of treatment they provide, do they only cater to those who are struggling with life-threatening illnesses or do they also provide services to those who many need a routine check-up or a yearly exam of some sort? Doctors treat those who are dealing with a large range of medical issues, and in terms of treatment, therapy really isn't that different. Have I worked with clients in the past who have struggled with major depressive disorder or had suicidal thoughts? Yes, but I have also worked with clients who were examining their purpose in life, or questioning the choices that they were making within their family or in terms of their career and life aspirations. So, as with doctors, therapists provide the level of treatment that is needed or requested by any given client that makes an appointment. 

Second, and because I hear about it so often from clients and through social media, I think a lot about the concept that anyone seeking help of any kind can be seen as "weak". I almost compare it to when I am working with clients and they may tear up during a session, and about 95% of the time their tears are followed by an apology. Most clients apologize after showing tears, and explain that they either "never cry" or they feel as though they are a "stronger person" than the tears they may show. It's really important to examine our own constructs of how we define "strength" and "weakness". Tears, as with the concept of "asking for help" don't need to be defined as weakness, in my clinical practice I have actually found quite the opposite; With tears, they can be our way of physically expressing the tension we are dealing with internally and associating with certain personal experiences.  With asking for help, or seeking treatment, having the ability to recognize and own that you may not have all the answers (again, questioning why we all expect that we (should) know all the solutions to our problems) is much more a sign of strength for myself and for many in the counseling field. My hope is that the stigmas will continue to be examined and debunked so more people can not only seek the help that they need but learn that expression of emotion isn't weakness, it's what makes us human.   

Everyone has to start somewhere!

My first blog. My feelings about this are: it's super intimidating but also has the potential to be really exciting with many opportunities for great conversation, learning, and growth! Sound familiar? When I talk to potential clients about starting the therapy process, the feelings I just shared about starting a blog (and this website, and my private practice) are very similar to what clients feel when thinking about starting therapy. Beginning the therapy process can be intimidating and there are more often than not a few fears associated with the idea of therapy (or what a person thinks they may know about therapy, the process etc.) For example, what they may see or read in the media and what is shown on TV or in movies (To be clear, many therapists don't have you lay on a couch expressing free association of thoughts and are writing down notes the whole time). In actuality, every therapist you meet will have a different style and differently personality, what is most important is that you don't shy away from starting the process because you may not know what to expect. Call it a challenge by choice, something you are willing to challenge yourself to try, and making the choice to go for it. So for me, having this blog and owning my own practice is my challenge by choice.  Being able to provide individual therapy in my own setting is extremely important for me, not only so that I can focus all my attention and work on the client and their process, but being able to create a comfortable environment for someone to start down their road of self-discovery. If it weren't intimidating, challenging, or hard to begin, it wouldn't be worth it. So while I know in the end this blog, website, and practice will be worthwhile, it's time for you to decide if you are ready to start the therapy process by taking that challenge by choice, and gearing up for the beginning of something that could change your life. 

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